Mental Can Openers & Writer's Hash ~ Roulf Burrell

Horses, Roses and Websites Galore~Part 1

Building your own website is like owning a thoroughbred racehorse. After you put in the time to learn about horses, feed, and groom, train the fiery beast, then muck out the stall, you’re too tired to ride, so you put it away in the barn.

Now I’m talking about the WordPress.org system that allows you full control over the various elements. Other options such as SiteBuilder, Wix, GoDaddy or Squarespace promise to streamline the process. They accomplish this, in part, by limiting your choices, but if your needs are less complex and you can comfortably live within their parameters; they are a competitive choice, though usually not a lot cheaper.

The first thing you will encounter with the Wordpress system is a tangle of technical terms worthy of any electronic jungle. Examples include: “domain name”, “cloud hosting”, “dashboard”, “widgets”, “plug-ins”, “themes”, “parent & child”, “tags and slugs”, to name a few. When instructions tell me to go to the dashboard, it does me little good to go sit in the car in my garage waiting for increased book sales. 

Once I find the dashboard, the acronyms attack. SEOs, CDNs, API, GDPR, JPEG, URL, HTTP, and HTML are a few.  Each one of these has a definition that sometimes requires more defining. For example, once I determine JPEG is a file extension for a lossy graphics file (and provided I know what a file extension is), other computer enthusiasts grant me a nod of affirmation; but, I still have not “lossied“ the headache.  

Another Google search reveals that Lossy graphics is a data compression system that gives up some image data to improve transfer speed, size, and storage needs for the remaining data. So now that I know what JPEG is and means, I also want to understand its effect and impact on my website. For instance, I might need to convert photos using a different compression system to work with my website or consider what type of photos load the fastest or look the best. 

While we are traipsing joyously through this lexicon minefield, we must exercise care we don’t incidentally sign up for premium services we don‘t need. And until I comprehend the terms, as well as the website’s method of implementation, I don’t know what I need. Apparently, my domain and name, while formidable, doesn’t stop themes, widgets, and plug-ins from presenting themselves in pop-ups, all promising to solve my woes for a few more dollars. Declining these, turning them off, or selecting the free option, can feel like staking vampires in a churchyard, only to watch them rise again during the evening service.

I’ve bought a host site, secured the right to use WordPress, chosen a domain name, and the system has dumped me into a screen called a dashboard. What do I do now? Speak to it using my new definitions? Wave my hands over it while muttering the three Latin phrases I know?  Personally, I had another coffee, lay down and had trouble sleeping, so I prayed for the site to construct itself as a magnificent testimony to God. Failing that, I awaited divine instructions to appear on the inside of my eyelids, an old test preparation technique of mine from college.

Stay tuned next time to see if the Baffling Burrell can overcome impossible odds, complete his website and qualify his fantasy nag-novel for entry into Literature’s Run for the Roses. 

~Brad

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